Have you ever read a book and admired the protagonist, wielding some heavy weapon like it’s a feather or bravely inciting a dangerous revolution and just thought “wow I’d have died about forty times by now“? Because that’s how I feel reading
most all books.
I’d be reading about a character getting shot, stabbed, or falling of a cliff and then picking themselves up to continue their daring escape, all the while I’m curled up under my duvet because a fly buzzed too close to my ear and I’m convinced it’s a wasp. (Totally not a true story… at all…). Lets just say my housemates deal with a lot of false alarms.
As you can imagine there are a tonne of bookish worlds I wouldn’t want to live in.
Top Ten Tuesday is a meme hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl.
1. Harry Potter, when it gets dark and creepy
Who would not want to live in the Harry Potter world? Riding eagle-horse things? Having a legit reason to billow around in a cloak? Eating under magical floating candles? Other than the odd bit of candle wax in your food, that sounds pretty great. But towards the end of the series things get a little scary and, although this makes for an entertaining read, I’m going to pass on this one.
2. How to Stop Time
At first I thought the premise of this novel, living for ages, was really cool- I mean, the protagonists gets to meet F. Scott Fitzgerald and Shakespear! I was only slightly disappointed he didn’t greet Fitzgerald with “How are you, old sport“. But, turns out, this novel has the same point as a 90s pop song and basically asks if I’d really want to live forever and on reflection, thats a no.
3. The Hunger Games et al.
Lets tick off some obvious dystopian novels. If it was ever in any doubt, no I am not the next Katniss Everdeen, Tris or the like. I might be able to be a Prim, but a little more selfish. And Buttercup would need to be a dog. I struggle with simple things, like eating my weekly piece of veg, there’s no way I’m going to be the last bastion of humanity any time soon.
4. The Fifth Wave
Speaking of the last bastion of humanity lets look at Cassie and friends who literally become the last humans on Earth. Mostly through dumb luck, granted, but they all end up pretty tough. I consider myself more of a Snow White kind of gal so I’d probably be hiding in a woodland retreat somewhere, hoping the whole hostile take over of the world would slip me by while I sing to birds and make them clean my room.
I would not like Violet’s little predicament of falling into her favourite dystopian story. I get that Violet comes back all self discovered and confident, but if I fell into the plot of the Gallows Dance and made it back I’d probably never leave the house again.
Miraji is ripe with poverty, lacking in human rights and everyone’s thirsty all the time. Also I imagine they’re all pretty hungry too and I get quite hangry so I think it’s best for everyone that I steer clear of this world.
7. Skulduggery Pleasant
I would totally be ok with having a magical ability like being able to fly or throw fireballs, but fighting the bad guys? Can I just wait in the Bentley?
As much as I loved this novel I could not live in a time when my one aim in life is to get married. For one thing, I can’t dance, cook or clean and don’t even get me started on sock darning….
9. The Mortal Instruments
I was the kid in reception who got more glue on themselves than on their paper collages. I’m hopelessly unartistic and the best thing I’ve ever managed to draw on myself is a wonky smile face. Ask me to draw a rune on my ow-so-bulging (lol no) bicep, and I’d probably end up with the rune for constipation instead of confidence or whatever.
10. The Exact Opposite of Okay
Nudes being plastered all over the internet and then going viral and then being followed around by the press? Lets just say I’m not looking to get into show business anytime soon….
I actually reached the full 10 😮 Finishing my degree last Friday probably helped here, a lot.
Which of these ten worlds do you think would suck the most? If you took part in TTT then I’d love to read your list, if not then feel free to have a chat anyway!