10 Terrible Titles I’ve Kindly Rewritten For Us All

Last week we got to see all the titles I love. This week’s Top Ten Tuesday is all about titles I would rewrite, and I can confirm it’s way more fun to complain than begrudgingly admit a title is good.

Harry Potter is not actually on the list but Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire should definitely have been called Harry Potter Fights a Dragon, we all know why we loved that book.

How to Stop Time

1 Fundamentally the book does not tell me how to stop time so really, it’s not a great title.

My Rename: Living Forever Kinda Sucks


The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue

2 Again, not a fan of the guide book type titles. My name, on the other hand, gets straight to the point.

My Rename: The Tour that Goes Wrong


Finale

3 I knew it was the Finale of the series, I didn’t need a title for that. My title is attempting is much more to the point while still keeping the one worded theme they’ve got going on.

My Rename: Fated


Red Queen

4 I would hardly call Mare a queen. Although, admittedly, my title could do with being a little more punchy. It’s a work in progress.

My Rename: A Mess of a Human Being Gets Magic and is Surrounded by Sinister Forces


A Heart so Fierce and Broken

5 How is the sequel to A Curse so Dark and Lonely not called A Heart so Fierce and Fragile?! Because they both begin with F, while Broken begins with a B but they both imply the same thing. Urg.

My Rename: A Heart so Fierce and Fragile


Blue Lily, Lily Blue

6 Ok, yes, it’s in the song but it’s not exactly central to the plot. And this really made me think Blue was secretly called Lily or it was something relating to the auras or whatever. But no, it’s just a slightly annoying song. Also it doesn’t even fit with the other titles, with the whole three words, one of them The etc etc.

My Rename: The Tone-Deaf Enchantress


Vicious

7 What does this even mean?! It’s just an adjective. Half the protagonist I read could be summed up as Vicious. My title may be a Pirates of the Caribbean quote but how well does it fit here!

My Rename: The Dichotomy of Good and Evil


Vox

8 I am yet to understand this title. Is that what the arm devices were called? Is it some combination of the word Voice Box? Please explain. I think my title is way better since it’s a great play on the shocking situation. Hahaha.

My Rename: Lost for Words


Series of Unfortunate Events: The End

9 I know it’s the end Snicket I’ve been reading all 13 πŸ™„ just because the series is finishing doesn’t mean you can cop out on a decent name. I was sort of going with some alliteration since, you know, The Bad Beginning was how it all began. And Inevitable is pretty Sinister.

My Rename: Series of Unfortunate Events: The Inevitable Ending


The Hazel Wood

X Did that wood even include hazel trees?! It was hardly a key plot point of the wood.

My Rename: The Misunderstood, Spooky and Somewhat Soul Destroying Wood


Let’s Compare Notes

So there you have it! 10 titles I would rename. What do you think? Do you like any names I’ve provided? Have a list of your own? Would love to hear from you in the comments section!

31 thoughts on “10 Terrible Titles I’ve Kindly Rewritten For Us All

  1. You have a lively imagination. When I’m ever in need for a new title for one of my publications, I’ll refer to you.
    VOX is a switch used in telecommunications that operates when a sound is detected and exceeds a certain threshold. … This term is also known as a voice operated exchange (VOX).
    Vox is also Latin for voice.

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  2. You’re so right about Vox! I don’t know if it was ever explained or tied into the story but I can’t recall at all. I don’t mind A Heart So Fierce and Broken but A Heart so Fierce and Fragile is pretty awesome too. Great job on this week’s TTT! It was too tough for my tired brain to handle πŸ˜…

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  3. A Heart So Fierce and Fragile definitely sounds a lot better than A Heart So Fierce and Broken. I quite like Vicious as a title, so many books have such long titles, it’s nice when they are only one word! I agree, Fated makes much more sense for Finale, that title really only fits it being the final book in the series, not anything else in the book itself. I laughed at your Red Queen and Hazel Wood titles, they’re a bit of a mouthful but very funny. I thought at the time of reading Blue Lily, Lily Blue that the title didn’t really fit, but I read Maggie Stiefvater’s Twitter thread about it and apparently it was meant to be a mirror? I still think it’s an odd title though. Gentleman’s Guide is way too long of a title, yours definitely rolls more off the tongue and gets right to the point. I actually didn’t really think much to The End as a title when I read the book, but I think I like The Inevitable Ending better.

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    1. I know can they just hire me for book titling? I’d do a great job πŸ˜‚ fair, I agree some books are way too long and people make them into acronyms I never understand πŸ™„ yeah I could see why they called in Finale but it felt like an easy cop out from coming up with a real title. Honesty makes the best titles? πŸ˜‚ Oooh I never got that! Although it still doesn’t fit so I don’t think I’d approve it anyway. I don’t like guide book titles, not sure why, and I didn’t think about it before writing this list but it defo sounds more Ominous

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      1. Ha ha I’m sure you would. I get most of them but there are some where I’m just like What?. Oh I definitely agree, it’s certainly a lazy way to title your final book. Yeah but there would definitely be some awkward acronyms coming out of those. I’m not really sure what I’d title that book, like I said, terrible with titling. Fair enough. It definitely does sound more ominous.

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  4. Oh, I thought that Blue Lily, Lily Blue was because Blue was revealed to be that ‘mirror’ thing or something (I don’t remember that well lol) and the words kind of mirror each other? I had no idea it was from some song! πŸ˜€
    And I think ‘Vox’ means voice in Latin? But I don’t know Latin so that’s just a suspicion!
    Great list! I had fun reading it. And your version of SOUE is how it should be! πŸ™‚

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    1. Oh wow you got that?! Apparently she revealed that on a Twitter thread, although I was totally unaware of it before reading the comments πŸ˜‚ too subtle for me. I thought the weird Glendower daughter women kept singing it πŸ€” yeah I heard it does! My Latin wasn’t good enough to pick up that titles nuances. Thanks!

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  5. These made me laugh! Although, I still love Blue Lily, Lily Blue. it was on my TTT for last week. πŸ˜‰

    I couldn’t think of any titles I’d change so I had to do a twist. Here’s my TTT!

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