Ah Valentines day, a time when we all cringe as we enters shops filled with sickening cards and perfectly good chocolates stuffed into impractical heart shaped boxes because that personal touch of commercialism really does show love, doesn’t it?
Anyway with the joyous event approaching this Friday I’m going to be taking a curve ball from yuk and discussing some ships that I really didn’t like. The ones that really need to sink because come on why were they even together?!
Katniss and Anyone
The Hunger Games
1. Come on Katniss was not in an emotional state for a relationship. Both Gale and Peeta’s priority seemed to be a date rather than her mental health which was definitely the priority. Wouldn’t Mockingjay have ended way better if Katniss learns to love herself and plants those primroses and then looks at the wind rustling in the trees, thinking of Rue and Prim, and is just happy that she helped bring about peace?
Dimple and Rishi
When Dimple Met Rishi
2. This pairing, from When Dimple Met Rishi, were so toxic. Rishi was somewhat creepy towards Dimple in his monologues and Dimple was definitely abusive, laughing it off as the trope ‘she different to other girls’. No no no no no. No.
Warden and Paige
The Bone Season
3. Um, shall we talk about the age difference? Or the power complex? He’s keeping her captive and is required to teach her to fight or she’ll be killed horribly as the apocalypse is nye. Oh and he’s super cagey and definitely manipulative she has no idea what’s going on in or outside her prison or even who Warden is but yes lets ship em. Why not.
The Dragon and Agneiszka
4. We’re looking at a Warden and Paige situation here: The Dragon is all up in his tower, 100 years old, snatching girls and keeping them as maidens and one of these girls is clumsy Agneiszkia who spends her first few days there weeping, is constantly bullied and belittled by The Dragon but it’s all ok because they fall in love?? Um no?
Clary and Jace
City of Bones
5. They lie to each, one of them is briefly possessed, they go behind each others backs, Jace isn’t a very nice character to start with and really their relationship is based of little else than teenage hormones. Also, shall we talk about the whole related thing?
Karou and Akiva
Daughter of Smoke and Bones
6. Everything about this relationship was super uncomfortable. Daughter of Smoke and Bone focusses on Karou and her life in Prague while telling her past. Karou of the present a new person and leapt way too quickly back into Akiva’s arms, abandoning her friends and life in Prague for a man who claimed to be the love of her life. But, like, what about her life? He was obsessed and just loved her past self, he never bothered to know her new self.
Tella and Anyone, Julian and Scarlet
7. I’m bunging these couples together since they come from the same trilogy. Legend and Jacks were terrible suitors. Neither really loved Tella, they were both cruel to her and neither really stopped to you, get to know Tella at any point. It was, as they said, just obsession not love. At least Julian and Scarlet had some kind of history even if they were a very toxic couple by the end, and Scarlet’s playing of the field should not have been romanticised.
Nahri and Dara
City of Brass
8. In City of Brass Dara abducts Nahri against her will and then he’s closed and doesn’t really explain anything then he goes off on a mission leaving her in a strange palace full of people who want her dead, then he hates her only friend and wants her isolated and then he tries to abduct her against her will again. And through all this we’re meant to, what, ship them? Cos it seems more like a hostage situation to me.
Cassie and Anyone
The Fifth Wave
9. We’re talking Fifth Wave here and we’ve got another love triangles that just doesn’t quite work. Evan is meant to kill Cassie so stalks her for months and then falls in love with her and then continues to obsessively stalk her, reads her diary and changes her while she’s unconscious. Oh my gosh how cute. Ben is this guy Cassie had a crush on at school and now they’re literally the only two people left in the world they are considering their options and yeah, again, doesn’t make much of a ship. So yeah, let’s just see out the apocalypse single, shall we Cassie?
Cal and Mare
X. Besides the fact that I really couldn’t stand Mare all book didn’t she seem to just mess everyone around? And wasn’t Cal just plain dishonest about everything. And then after all this lying the author was like ‘oh yeah, and this is your otp people’ despite it making no sense whatsoever.
Let’s Compare Notes
So there you have it! Ten couples that I don’t think make any sense whatsoever. What are your thoughts? Anyone agree? Got a love related list? let me know in the comments!
I will have my review of City of Brass up this week, so you can truly see the depths of crazy Dara and Nahri’s relationship was, and on Friday you all get to meet another bookworm! Until then!